Sidebar: Be kind to the woman you love!
It seems that some readers of this blog are amazed that I persevered with skiing, despite my horrible experiences. And to be perfectly honest, after reliving my “episodes” on the slopes – so am I. And just so you know, the horror stories didn’t stop in New Zealand…but you’ll have to wait for Episode 4. However, before I get to the next Episode, I’d like to share some valuable information with you, particularly anyone who is considering taking their wife skiing for the first time.
One of the things I love about skiing is getting on a chairlift and enjoying brief but enjoyable interludes with other skiers sharing the same chair. It’s great finding out where people are from, what they do for a living, and generally chatting about the snow and skiing, or snowboarding. (Actually, snowboarders don’t chat much, probably because they always have headphones plugged into their ears, which makes it almost impossible to strike up a conversation…as I found out just the other day when I said to the snowboarder beside me: “so what’s the snow like?” End of conversation.)
But I digress (which my husband says I do a lot)! Anyway, on all the chairs I have ridden, I have yet to meet an unhappy skier. Everyone I have had the joy of meeting on a chair lift or on the slopes has been happy, happy, happy, enjoying the elements, the views and the thrill of exercising all day in the “fresh” air (something I love, because it means I can pretty much eat anything!).
However, on several occasions, I have chatted with men who tell me that their wives won’t ski as they hated it after only one day, hence, they are skiing solo or with other male friends. Upon further questioning, it appears that the reason their wives hated skiing was because said considerate husband, who was invited to a conference at a ski resort and who convinced his wife to go with him, subliminally thought he’d get some of his own back and terrify his beloved by taking her up to the top of the mountain and then telling her to “just ski down”!
This reinforces my theory discussed in Episode 3 in which I believe that people actually get some kind of sick satisfaction seeing someone else, even if you are married to them, frozen in fear! They must, because otherwise, why would anyone take anyone up to the top of a mountain and say “ski”?
Now listen up all you male skiers out there! Here’s what you don’t appear to know. Men do not have fear. Women do! I figure this is because if a man falls and breaks his leg, his wife/partner will take care of him, the children, the house etc. etc. like she always does – so nothing in his life changes much. Now, if a woman breaks her leg…..well, she’ll still have to do all those things, but on crutches!
So, if you want the woman in your life to enjoy the skiing experience as much as you do, put her in a lesson with other women, with a female ski instructor (because just in case you men didn’t know this either, women communicate entirely different to men…but I think you do know this), and let her take her time on a beginners slope. Then, when she feels ready, take her to another beginners slope and ski “with” her, or if you ski ahead, wait for her every hundred yards or so. Do NOT pressure her into going faster, or pretend that you are a ski instructor and give her a plethora of instructions on every turn.
And ladies, remember, don’t be too hard on yourselves. Skiing is difficult and it takes patience and perseverance, but once you are able to turn and stop, and then enjoy the whole apres ski experience, you’ll begin to enjoy skiing, and eventually one day, even love it!
And if you need any encouragement, just re-read Episodes 1-3 of this blog and you’ll realize that we all have to start somewhere!
Skiing takes patience and perseverance
Postscript: For anyone visiting Park City Mountain Resort, they are now offering a Ladies Club for ladies who want to ski with other women at the same level and taught by a female ski instructor. Click here for more information.
Episode 3: Skiing in NZ – What more could go wrong?
Previously on the Perils of Caroline, Caroline was partaking in a swig of Dom Benedictine from her plastic film container and feeling like she was really getting the hang of this skiing deal (hmmmn) when a well-meaning couple suggested Maggie and Caroline go up on the chairlift!
So it’s the afternoon of Day 2 on the slopes of Coronet Peak in New Zealand and Maggie and I were standing on the line at the chairlift waiting for the chair to scoop us up and ferry us to the top of the mountain. All good so far. The chair came around and we were off!
Now, unless you’ve had ski lessons where the ski instructor who accompanies you instructs the novice skier on how to get off a chairlift, one is left to their own devices and imagination. So, as I approached the point at which I anticipated I was to unload, I got ready and voila! – actually managed to get off the chairlift. What I didn’t know, however, was that I had unloaded just a little too early. The thrill of being upright while exclaiming “I did it!” was short-lived because rather than skiing to the right – away from the chair, I remained stationery – but only for a moment! What was happening? Oh my God! I was sliding backwards…into an oncoming chair! Lucky for me, I fell forward with skis splayed out behind me. Not sure what happened to Maggie, but she was probably looking in horror at the disaster unfolding before her eyes, as was the lifty who yelled, “keep your head down!” at the same time that the oncoming chair skimmed over me.
Not sure if this was THE chairlift that nearly claimed my life
I am forever grateful to said lifty who saved my life that day and dragged me from becoming roadkill by the second oncoming chair loaded with skiers who at the same time managed to stop the chairlift.
If you are a skier, have you ever noticed how people you are skiing with NEVER tell you you can’t do something? They always say, “you can do that run!” Huh! Why do they do this? I think it’s because, even if they are your dear friends, they actually enjoy seeing you perched on the edge of a precipice frozen with fear! Perhaps it gives them power…I don’t know, but I had specifically asked the well-meaning couple with whom we had lunched, what the run down from the chairlift was like, and they both said: “Oh, you can do that – it’s easy!” Perhaps they didn’t know that all I knew how to do was snowplough or maybe they were really mean and nasty people, but after I was mobile again and headed off down the slope, what I did learn was that you really can’t snowplough on ice!
Yes, it was a very icy run, and as I felt myself going faster and faster, I did what every novice skier does – I leaned backwards. Hindsight and knowledge is great, but without understanding the mechanics of skiing, which is counter-intuitive, none of that matters! What that means to any non-skier or potential skier is that the further forward you lean, the more in control you are, and the minute you lean back – you’re screwed! So, I fell spectacularly with skis (which bindings didn’t release) wrapped around my neck and a severe pain in my left knee. At least I was alive. I tried to get up, but alas! I could not stand. Ski patrol was called and came to my rescue.
So, it was that I ended Day 2 and effectively the skiing part of my holiday in New Zealand, coming down in a stretcher bound and tied with just my head popping out from the blanket. Upon reaching the bottom of the mountain, I had to endure the embarrassment of other skiers looking at me as though I was dead and all I could say was, “I’m okay…really!”
Thank goodness Queenstown was a lovely place at which to recover from my medial ligament injury as for the rest of the week, I hobbled into several bars and restaurants alone and told people who initially looked at me with pity that I had fallen on a slope which had a name akin to “Death Wish”. It’s amazing how the look of “pity” quickly changed to one of “admiration”!
So here’s the lesson to all new skiers..don’t get off a chairlift too early (or too late for that matter), don’t lean backwards, make sure you know how to do more than snowplough before you tackle anything icy, and NEVER let the truth ruin a good story!